Wisdom that is first of all pure

A proverb says that the glory of the youth is in their strength while that of the old is in their grey hair. So as time has passed, wisdom has been highly associated with aged people. I can decipher that it’s because wisdom comes with a lot of experience.

But wait a minute. James was talking about two kinds of wisdom. I’m gonna shake it a little and make it real to us. There’s wisdom that is first of all arrogant, then attached to age, application of knowledge, how much you know, successful, wealthy, extraordinary, flabberwhelming and sincere.

Then there’s wisdom that is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

The wisdom that will get you to the top of your game faster than you can imagine is the first one. You won’t have a problem being very competitive and success oriented. This wisdom will sacrifice a lot to be at the top including family. It will ‘say its mind, whether you like it or not’. This wisdom thinks, ‘your  Christianity should not be taken for stupidity’. I however didn’t forget to add that it is sincerely foolish. It only comes with envy and strife. It is what makes some people always say, ‘I know more than you so be quiet’.

The second one is that one for babies. Yes, only babies can afford to be this ‘gogomu’, ‘didirin’, ‘swegbe’, ‘dr. dende’. It’s the wisdom that allows one to talk while you act. This wisdom thinks twice before it talks. It is not so eager to be at the limelight, it will rather be quiet because it understands that silence is the best answer for a fool. Silence communicates volume. It will take time for you to get to the top with it, but you’ll be sure to look younger when you get there. What kind of wisdom will require you to submit? This one. This is sincerely worth it.

I bring to us two kinds of wisdom. The wisdom of heaven and earth. The former was what God operated with when He made the heavens and the earth, now see where we are. It was what made Christ die on the cross so we can call ourselves free. For a moment, the devil thought he was wise enough to pull the stunt of killing and destroying forever the king of glory. Little did he know that the plan of the Father was to raise His Son three days later. Oh! How furious he was! And how sincerely foolish!

Wives, submit to your husband because it is the wise thing to do. Husbands love your wife because it’s the wise thing to do. Parents, be considerate to your children because it is the wise thing to do. Children, listen to your parents because it is the wise thing to do. Whenever you want to do something, cross- check it with the wisdom of your choice before you move on.

To my friend, Shaki

To my friend, Shaki.

Every morning since the year started, I’ve had a fresh cause to thank God. People are poor! I have a friend called Shaki, who lost her dad last April, and is yet to enter the university. Today, she said I’m not feeling the subsidy removal because I have all the food I need at home. I laugh. I can’t defend myself because I am rich, rather my parents are rich. I want to help her- I want to tell her that she should focus on getting a degree and not let any boy use her anyhow. I know she has a good head resting on her shoulders.

Shaki, thank you for letting me see how privileged I am. I haven’t had the opportunity to skip a meal because I was utterly broke. I haven’t had to drop out of school because I didn’t pay for school fees. I know there have been times at home where it was because of goodwill, my school let me stay till I paid. I did not have go to a school where my uniforms and textbooks were for free. I’m in my fourth year in the university; I speak good English because I grew up in a contained environment. My grandfather retired as a judge, my grandmother as a high school teacher, my mom’s late father as an engineer and her mom is still an efficient house grandma!

I know that all these do not ultimately make me and it’s up to me to make it in my own life, but you see I was born with a silver spoon and it is making things easier. I thank You Lord for sparing my parents and siblings- it has given me the sweetest childhood any child would want. The difference between me and that crack addict is the fact that her parents got divorced at a young age while mine have remained together for 27years and counting. I am grateful and do not take for granted that my dad never lost his job. There were times when we did not have a car to transport us but we did not utterly fall, even if it was just by a strand that we were saved. We’ve been living in our house for over 10 years- this means that my dad never had to pay rent to any landlord; we never got eviction notices or run-down landlords. Am I better than any of these people who don’t have what I have?

At times I get scared of that stone that will hit my glass wall from outside and cause my world to turn upside down- a broken heart, a deceased parent, a miscarriage, a re-sit or repeat examination- but I can only trust in You, God. Job waited for disaster and got it. I’m not oblivious to suffering because it creates a different kind of supernatural strength but in my lofty comfort, I’m grateful that You are good. I love You and I appreciate the grace You’ve given me. I pray that I do not let the comfort of the world you’ve allowed me to have to get into my head and make me think that that is what makes a man prosperous. I ask for wisdom to be friends with people not in my position – to respect and love them like you would. I ask for the grace to know when I should give to people who need my help. I pray for the wisdom to be a blessing to anybody that comes my way and not let my ‘perfectly carved world’ rub me of my greatness. Help me to discover myself and be used for Your glory.

I am grateful.

Thank you again Shaki.

Thank You Lord.

Yours truly,

Ore e tooto.

I CHOOSE LOVE

Because you give doesn’t mean you love…

As I read 1Corin 13 for the umpteenth time, curious to hear what (other thing) God has to say, I lie on the floor with four other women occupying the space around me. I just moved into my room and have been accommodating four others per night with me.

So what is love? Making enough spaghetti for them and tearing my hair into money? Is it feeling bad for not providing breakfast?

Love is not necessarily giving. All this while the Holy Spirit has been consistently telling me give… WHAT YOU HAVE. Love is not sentiments. Love is patient (to hear my friend’s ramblings) and kind (to tell them politely that I do not have what they want). It does not envy (roomie’s possessions) neither does it boast (about housing five different people in my room).

It is not self-seeking (attention from the wrong places) and does not get easily angered (about my temporary roommates demands or actions). It is not proud (to ask who knows how to make ‘Asaro’). It does not delight in evil (who’s downfall) but rejoices with the truth (being honest is love).

It always protects

It always trust

It always hopes

It always perseveres (Oh God! Just two weeks!)

Love never fails. Whenever you use it, it cannot fail you.

I choose LOVE.

The latest man in town

I once was, Mrs. Eve Adams

My husband was Mr. Adams God.

He was the latest man in town.

After all, he was the only man in town!

We had the most beautiful apartment

State of the art all to ourselves

I didn’t have a need or two

Believe you me it was heaven on earth

My husband was the Prince of the Earth

And I was the mother of all nations!

But you see one day,

I had a chat with Lucifer

He was an old friend of Dad

He questioned my eating habits

 And I was delighted to give him a breakdown

For my First Desire was not around

Little did I know,

That he could cook more than me.

Night came and I and Adam ate

The sweetest recipe my mouth had tasted

Then we suddenly felt intoxicated!

And made terrible love

It was so, so naughty

How did my mind conceive that word?

How I did conceive our son.

Then we slept, and we awoke.

‘Adam! Adam!’ our Father called

But he was busy making some clothes

I felt so naked, so ashamed

So defiled!

‘Adam! Adam!’ Dad cried out

And I could hear in his voice

That He already knew what we did.

Few months later only Adam was by my side,

As I pushed and turned, huffed and puffed,

 My eyes had seen terrible things,

My sides had felt terrible pain.

 And after hours of labor,

My first son arrived

Yes, after years of toil,

My second son followed.

As the years passed by

I knew that something was missing.

Adam no longer looked at me with love

He always came back late from work

The kids were always fighting

I was so dissatisfied and drained!

If tears could be exhausted

I had used up all of mine and Cain’s

He never really cried…

I was quite old

When I attended my baby boy’s burial

It felt so unnatural to die, to count years by strokes.

I was quite old but not dead

When my daughter came crying,

She could not bear a child

And her husband was always drunk.

Was it all because of what we did?

Someone was totally missing.

Forty two generations passed

And my daughter’s daughters still cried

Their husbands still cheated

They really ached to be Princes

But they didn’t understand

That it started from Adam and me.

But the Father never forgot,

He never stopped loving us

I know this because at different times

I could feel him calling me;

Through his laws and his prophets, pain and sorrows

For we had traded our rights to be kings

For momentarily pleasure

When it rained, I could feel his tears on my hair.

When the sun shone, I could smell his scent so near.

Then my name became Mary Joseph

A fresh graduate seeking a decent job

Engaged to be married,

Yet still seeking my Dad’s face

Until one day he called, and I answered

He touched me and I responded

Again.

He gave me such strength

And I felt no pain as I bore his.

Three decades later and we were crying,

Because I saw what he went through

So that I could call him Dad,

Again.

He came down with arms wide open

And went up with me in them

He went through every pain, poverty, lust, betrayal, fear…

Death on my behalf.

Now I bear a new name

I am Miss Kelechukwu Christ

And my lover is mine again

He is the latest man in town

Amongst many other men.

The woman who could bear no fruit

Became the one bearing fruits.

Because her bleeding finally stopped

When she touched his hem.

Her waywardness finally ended,

When she had a drink with him.

Her husband’s toil was broken,

When He took his yoke.

Her birth pain ceased,

When she took a walk with him.

I can now call him Dad,

As he calls me ‘child’.

Go, and sin (some more?)

Good day to you all. I had written this piece some time back when I was learning not to expect more than enough from people just because they are Christians. I learnt that people are growing. Even the word ‘church’ means that we are ‘sent’, ‘moving’ (or growing in this case). So I sat down and wrote all this. It’s a wonder how this is making even more sense to me now. Let it bless you like it blessed me.


Do not slight your neighbour for anything, whether you’re righteous or not. Jesus would never have done so and He is the son of righteousness, the One who can condemn. He heard and saw the Pharisees condemn and laughed, they had no chance against him yet he didn’t condemn them! When we slight people, we give space to the devil to manipulate and use us anyhow- guilt, more backbiting, inferiority, childishness. How easy did you think it was for Daniel to refuse the king's portion? Everybody, including the pastors was doing it. But he got a command from God. Do you think he wasn’t salivating?

'In his eyes, the vile are condemned'- correct in love in front of the person, not behind. Increase the person's self worth by telling the person to his or her face IN LOVE that they are not right. Even your righteousness is undergoing growth for if you are perfect, you would be in heaven. 

The church is not for finished products but for growth. The measures taken (Sunday school, bible study, working rules) is not to sieve out good or bad but to measure willingness, people can like to fake it sef, 'having a form of godliness' but the point is, the church is a place where men are growing, being built, equipped for the ministry (in the world). It’s about the people, for them to grow (not to be pleased all the time).
Christianity is not just about believing, it’s also about belonging. Can people look at your ministry and say they belong?

If you hurt someone and can’t look beyond that time/ event or what, I have news for you- You're forgiven. It’s not because you came out to pray or you've wept. It’s because before you were born Christ hath forgiven thee. The believer’s life is from faith to faith and we'll keep growing. You've hurt yourself but God is not disappointed. Peter offended God but it wasn’t that that didn’t make him write more than 10 books. Even in our knowing him, we drop stuff daily. Grace is what it is- grace.  His grace is enough for me. And even if you do it again, you're forgiven and He's not afraid to say so because perfect love casts out fear.

Wives!

The Animashaun Baptist church stood at the corner of the street, proudly displaying its fine high walls, well painted and decorated with cherubs at the sides. The life size crucifix was pivoted at the highest point of the building making it a landmark for new comers and visitors, who were not acquainted with its geography. Inside the church, its congregation celebrated joyfully for it was their anniversary month. All the groups and units were beautifully regaled in their uniforms making the church look like a mini carnival-and this was just the opening ceremony. The program would run for 7 days, from Sunday to Sunday.

Mrs. Ade, the church announcer adjusted her glasses as she read the daily programs and their venues. ‘… on Saturday, the men’s picnic would hold at St. Martha’s garden, opposite Bishop Howells’ hall, which is where the women’s feast will take place. Both start at 12pm sharp!’ her high pitched voice scared the un-expecting members.

‘Omotola, what did she just say?’ Adanna Richards asked her husband. He just muffled a sound beneath his moustache as he continued to follow the announcement with his bulletin. His wife wasn’t so educated but neither was she so dumb. He chose to ignore her any ways.

On the way home, Sola laughed hysterically as she read BBM’s. Her husband, also Sola, increased the volume of the radio to the joy of the twin teenage boys behind. Since he bought her the latest BB Torch, it seemed the messages doubled. And so did her laughter. His mind was preoccupied with the men’s picnic. They were told to bring a native delicacy that could at least feed four people. That was a lot of people! Sola often complained that he ate too much. That was her business, after all he provided the money. He thought of how he would put his chef skills to practice as they were all told to prepare the dishes by themselves. What a wonderful weekend to look forward to.

If only they knew how the events of the week would unfold!

­­­­­­­­­­­­­Mrs. Sola walked into her office on Tuesday morning. She was the managing director of First Inland bank. As she stepped into her office, she signaled for her assistant to follow her in.

‘Adanna, I want you to help me Google all the traditional dishes of Ekiti people. My husband must win that competition.’

‘Yes ma’, Adanna Richards replied.

As she was about leaving, Mrs. Fabuwa called her back, ‘Are you still coming for dinner on Friday with your husband?’

‘Yes, we are’.

As soon as she sat down, she dialed her friend’s number. ‘Sarah, how are you now? (pause) yes have you heard about the men’s picnic on Saturday? (pause) my husband is not really interested in it but as I ‘goggle’ her own, I’ll ‘goggle’ his own too. (pause) No, I’m not forcing him. I’m only encouraging him (pause) Go joor, kill joy. Is it because your own is interested? Don’t worry, let the best chef win! (pause) hehe! Alright, bye!

Dropping the receiver, she thought to herself, ‘this highfaluting woman will not find it funny when my Tola gets the prize of the best food!’

xxx

Bishop Oyelani carried about happily in his kitchen as he put spices and sauces together. He was warming up for the coming picnic which was now three days away. He always had an enthusiasm for cooking but his wife never let him do it. That was probably the reason why God sent the ‘revelation’ to him. He trusted the men to be honest which was why he suggested the cooking be done at home. As he piled the dirty dishes on each other, his wife walked into the kitchen.

‘Mofe, what are you doing?’ Bisi asked as she peeped over his shoulders, ‘My Mofe cannot be washing the dishes, wonderful!’

‘Don’t get too happy my wife. I’m only piling them for you. I just finished preparing gbegiri and amala.’ He said laughing in his deep baritone voice.

Bisi quickly dropped her bag and went towards the cooker. True to his word, there was a pot of what looked like gbegiri and another of ‘cocolized’ amala. She tasted the gbegiri and gagged- there was almost no salt!

‘Mofe darling, this is the reason why I don’t like you cooking. Ko si salt! Please you’d let me help you in this competition. I must be of help to you if not the women will laugh at my husband. Even Venerable Ajunwa used to win all the cooking competitions held in the parish before he retired.’

Her husband smiled at her, she was beautiful indeed. ‘Sorry ma, but I’m not Venerable Ajunwa. I’m Bishop Oyelani and I’m cooking this by myself. What would the men think of me if I told them to do one thing and did another? I will not cheat ma. Now let’s get ready for evening service’, he put his arms around her as he led her to the room.

‘Besides, you must eat before church starts’, he whispered into her ear.

xxx

Sara and her husband held hands in church that evening as they let the words of Bishop sink into their hearts. He spoke of the reason for the anniversary programs. It was to bring family together under the leadership of Christ. The children just concluded their adorable drama before he stepped up the pulpit. For Sara, the program was like an answered prayer. Since Monday, Bode had been with her in the kitchen, learning how to operate the cooker and other appliances. He was going for simple eba and egusi, she was going for restoration of laughter at home.

xxx

On Friday, the Richards sat across the dinner table of the Fabuwas. They were having dessert and the men were already engrossed in politics leaving the women to themselves. It didn’t take a second for Sola to pull out her BB and give it her full attention. Adanna could see the irritation on Mr. Sola’s face he tried to hide. No wonder her husband refused to let her have a BB. He would simply hate to have her attention divided. She went into the kitchen to work her mischevious act. She knew what Mr. Sola wanted to prepare for the picnic and decided to ‘pimp’ the ingredients a little. Satisfied with her swapping plan, she walked back to the dining table.

xxx

Saturday morning, after devotion the four families were in the kitchen:

The Richards were shuffling about preparing ofada rice and sauce. This was the third try but this time it was Adanna doing the cooking. Omotola had successfully burnt the sauce twice and they were out of ‘iru’.

Bishop Oyelani tried to convince his wife to no avail not to ‘help’ him. The unhappy Bishop turned the soup as she turned the amala. She could manage the gbegiri being tasteless but not the amala. Never!

Sola and Sola laughed as they cooked. Mrs. Sola read out the steps to Mr. Sola as he combined ingredient upon ingredient.

Sara and Bode were working as fast as they could. Bode was in the kitchen cooking while Sara was painting her nails in the bedroom. She took advantage of the competition to get her husband to prepare breakfast for the family, what he hadn’t done in years. She smiled as she remembered last night events. It was going to be a great weekend.

xxx

At 1.00pm, the women were surprised to find no food in the hall. At first they thought the caterer was running late but it was now obvious there was no food on the way.

Bisi walked up to Mrs. Ade, the coordinator. ‘Ma, where is the food? The women are getting hungry. What of the children?’

‘There has been a change of plans. Didn’t Bishop tell you?’

Bisi was clueless. ‘Please ma, explain.’

‘The money we donated for the feast was given to the children (for their funfair) and the men (for drinks).’

‘So what are we going to eat?’

Mrs. Ade laughed at the question. ‘Your husbands’ food of course. Why did you think they were all supposed to bring food for four?’

As the latest information spread round the hall, wives whispered to each other. Adanna was already having this feeling of dread knowing that the Fabuwas would make her and her husband eat their food. How was she going to explain that it was not edible?

Just then, the men strolled in singing loudly, ‘God give us Christian homes’, with their arms laden with coolers of food. They laid them on the central table and went to join their wives.

Bishop opened the feast with a word of prayer and confession. ‘I would like to remove myself from the competition because my wonderful wife ‘helped’ me prepare my wonderfulous dish, number nine.’ The men cheered him in respect while some wives shook their head in feigned disgust. Mrs. Oyelani blushed with embarrassment, feeling very bad that her husband had to evict himself.

That act also removed twenty other men from the competition including the Fabuwas and Richards. No surprise that Bode was tagged ‘cook of the year’ by his fellow brethren. The judges took two servings leaving the rest for himself and his wife.

Unfortunately, the Fabuwa’s and Richards exchanged their meals. Adanna could not bear to see her husband impaired the next day because of her foolishness and confessed to the amazement of the men and the anger of Sola. Their wonderful husbands made joke of it and made sure their wives reconciled their differences.

However, Monday came with Sola BB-less and Adanna’s change of department! Wives!

Staying faithful!

‘stop it, baby. You know when you touch me like that, it turns me on’, I said in a cooing voice.

I still remember that night like it was just a few hours ago. Every touch felt heavenly and I didn’t want it to end. But it just had to. You see I have to remain faithful to him. How would he feel if when he came back for me, he’d meet me in the arms of another man? And not just in the arms but in da arms!

I left that night without looking back. You see, I love this guy with all my heart and I don’t want to hurt his feelings or mine. We are not married to each other. The prince of my castle is not exactly around and I didn’t think it bad to give myself to another.

It’s like you don’t understand. Do you know why I walked away from that blissful moment without looking back? It was because he (the guy) had not yet put a ring on my finger. He has not yet honored me by taking me to the altar. He’s the one I want to marry but until then, how will I explain to my Master (I mean Christ) that I couldn’t help my emotions?

I’m learning a deeper meaning of being chaste. It is not about keeping your body till your wedding night alone. It is about remembering that your body is a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable, your reasonable service. I sound preachy right? I sound like one of those goody-two shoes that don’t know how to catch their fun. It’s a big lie, farthest from it. When he looks at me, I get goose bumps, when he pecks my fore head; I wish he could move lower. After all, he’s the one. But it’s not about me or him. It’s about the Prince of my castle (my Lord and Savior).

No one is trying to rub it into your face, if you’ve gone those nine yards. It’s what you believe right now that matters. Are you ready to stay faithful, because I know a MAN that will keep you if you do. I know someone who will remind you that He took his time to craft you-spirit, soul and body and therefore, you can wait. Even when you have to wait forever (till you land in His presence). I know He will encourage you to wait if ‘you love Him’ (that’s what they always say abi? Lol).

How far?-

 I've long ago given up on having front hair. The tiring resources and time spent on it seemed to have been in vain. From virgin hair relaxer to damatol. Even gentle touch product. Aargh!

This was my last stop in the salon concerning anything, hair matter. I was just doing this because my cousin's wedding was in a forth night and I wanted to do some Brazilian stunt-hair-thingy.
'Hmmn', the hair stylist sighed. 'Have you tried using olive oil rejuvenating hair product?', she asked expecting a negative reply.
'Yes! Still in my drawer somewhere', I said trying to sound sweet.
She took a good look at me through the mirror while oiling it with some product.
'How often?'
'Ehn?'
'I said how often', she repeated.
‘Ehm, ehm, I think I used it for two weeks or thereabout.'
'See! That’s the problem. You don’t use it long enough!'
'Long enough? I don’t have the time for all that.'
'Well lady, when you decide that you're tired of chop chop hair, you know what to do'
As I left her salon that day, I couldn’t help but wonder all the things I had stopped doing because there wasn’t 'enough time' to continue.
For some of them, there were genuine reasons I allocated to them- I needed more experience, or better people or more resources, but there were no specifics as to when exactly I'd take time to affect those reasons.
For others, I'd sincerely lost interest and needed encouragement. My state reminds me Elijah. He had done the right thing killing all the prophets of Baal, now Jezebel wanted his head (1kings19). It was the logical thing to run away, and gradually lose interest in doing the right thing. But God wasn’t done with him...like He's not done with me.
Today marks day 10 of consistently using my hair product to rejuvenate my seemingly balding hair. I decided to. There’s no point postponing it anymore, besides, I want to use my hair for my wedding!

'Are you utterly broken?'

Are you utterly broken? Do you feel like there is no one to run to and all is seemingly askew? I haven’t been there before but I know someone who has. She had everything she could possibly ask for: a good husband, great in-laws, life in a five year plan. She was flourishing in her business as a designer and C.E.O of an urban clothing line ranging from ages 0- Adult. Things were good. Then one day she comes home from work to meet her mother-in-law in the arms of her husband, who was comforting her. His dad just passed away. For months the elderly man had been complaining of a burning chest pain and was treated for infection. He went into a cardiac arrest in the early hours of the morning and didn’t wake up.

After the funeral, mother-in-law, ‘Nana’ as she is fondly called by her sons, came to live with Ruth. At first, she felt bitter at not having Mark all to herself and she began to act grumpy. But what stunned her was Nana’s response- love. It was all she could do not to cry at the wonderful mother’s heartfelt tenderness towards her. Why, she even treated her like her own daughter! And there was more- Nana emanated peace and joy beyond comprehension. Ruth would look forward to getting home so she and Nana could prepare dinner while she learnt about the middle-aged woman’s past- her home, her people, the economic meltdown affecting her country, and her God. He was the person Ruth longed to meet. Nana described him as a loving gentle tenderhearted Father who would stop at nothing to see his children saved. But what did Ruth need to be saved from? Ruth had all she wanted and church wasn’t her thing. She just didn’t grow up with it. Her parents believed in satisfying one’s self and looking for inner happiness. Christmas was a happy holiday for them because their Father got to take them to the best kiddies centre.

Years passed on and Ruth couldn’t deny the feeling that something was missing. She couldn’t put a finger on it yet her soul was desperately seeking for more. It wasn’t the fact that she had no children for Mark. In their time, they would come. Her heart was growing weary within her daily. Then the worst happened: Mark and his only brother, Keith died in a car crash on their way back from a business meeting out of town. Eleven years of marriage and she was left a widow.

Are you familiar with this story?

I have a word for you- God has not left you alone. When all seems utterly hopeless and life is death to you, the Father is able to raise you up from the miry clay. Because you see years after, He set Ruth and Nana’s feet on the solid rock- not because she remarried and had a son after a lot of other stuff happened to her but that she followed the One true God even in her state of pain. She learnt that though she had lost everything, the joy that would come when she walked with God was unspeakable. It filled her soul, healed her wounded heart, and filled the emptiness she had for so long! It was more than the things she could see- a home, a husband, children, good job, friends, etc. she allowed God’s grace to save her. She chose life, she chose Jesus Christ as her personal Lord and Savior. She heard God calling her, telling her he would give her rest, lighten her burden, ease her yoke, and teach her how to live. She obeyed the call.

There is not a situation God cannot save you from, if He has the power to raise dry bones to life (Ezek.37:1-14), He has the power to save you. And he calls, ‘come to me’. Will you?