My Worship Offering

As I ironed my dress for church on Sunday, I wondered how I could worship God in a way that won’t look like the last time or the time before that. It’s easy for me to slip into tongues and blast away or sing songs but at times I feel like my worship to Him needs a breath of fresh air.

I’m talking of the One who kept watch over me throughout the night and woke me up this morning. He gives me such an assurance that I cannot die but live to declare the works of the Lord in the land of the living. He has been and will continue to be faithful.

He’s my provider, my protector, my Shepherd, my Strengthener. Whose shoulder do I cry on when all seems lost except Him?

Two days ago, I was at a service and as we were worshiping, thanking God for both good and bad times, I tried to think deeply of what bad time I had just been through but couldn’t remember any. It was so funny yet painful. I compared my life with Job's who lost all he had- family, finance, and friends- in one day yet praised God, and knew I was a deep ingrate. Who had I lost? What had I lost? When did I lose them? Yet I found it hard to say thank you every hour, every day and every month.

Is it not amazing that we are in the 10^th month of the year all of a sudden? It seemed like yesterday that we were celebrating the New Year. In the past ten months I have experienced His undeserving faithfulness. There were times I felt He was being unnecessarily hard on me, or being too quiet for my liking yet I am here, still standing because of His goodness.

I learnt more about the Holy Spirit than I have ever learnt in past years. I learnt about leadership and shouldering responsibilities in the face of adversity. I learnt about prayer. I read more Christian literature than I have ever read in my life. I made solid friendships. I didn’t have to always use public transport to UI this year. I failed my junior pediatrics test (and I’m considering becoming a pediatrician some day). I mentored more people than I thought I would (well, I didn’t have a plan on the number of people). The book club has been doing great.

I came to accept my weight as a blessing (I weigh 56kg). I bonded more with my family. I had no lack financially. I’ve been highly blessed.

Abba, I’m so grateful for Your love, Your companionship, Your grace, Your deliverance, Your mercy, Your Truth, Your Word, Your ever abiding presence, Your strength, and You. Are there still unanswered questions in my heart? Am I yet to come to terms with some issues? Do I have pressing needs and requests? Do I still have a long way to go?

Yes. In the face of all these, I keep holding on to You for You are the Only One who satisfies. You are the Keeper of all my dreams, You are my Source and without You I can never be successful (do what I was created to do) or complete.

my birthday in May